Friday, September 25, 2015

Just West of the Midwest Chapter 5: All in a Day's Week

                                               This is how I feel when approaching my mailbox. (Student/teacher artwork)
Day in and day out, for the last six weeks, upon returning home after a hard day of teaching English to the young minds of rural Japan, there's an unmistakable twinge in my stomach each time I approach the mailbox, a desperate, glimmer of hope that when I open it-

"Creeeeaaaaak!"


- there will be at least one letter from at least one person who dares call me friend.

Much to my chagrin, I swing the door open and bend down, sweat falls into my already tear-stung eyes and the only thing I find inside is the faint echo of my last visit.

"Damn - damn - damn..."


"No letters - letters - letters..."


And I walk to the stairs of my apartment, sighing and crying.


Crying and sighing.

Look, when we said good-bye in July, I didn't think it meant, "Talk to you when you get back."

The only other thing that has frustrated me as of late is the language barrier. My understanding and ability to speak Japanese has improved, but only slightly. I just have to stop being so inhibited and so worried about saying something truly embarrassing, such as "Show us your package," as opposed to "A pleasure to meet you, Prime Minister Kaifu."


I do find, however, that after a few beers I can convince myself that I'm practically fluent and the words (as well as the often intense intonations of the language) come flowing out. My office got quite a kick out of the fact that I responded to a recent comment with: "Eeeehhhhh?" (To say this correctly, the voice should gradually rise several octaves. It's kind of like the equivalent of our "Huh?" but, quite honestly, far more effective.)

                                                       At my desk at the Shintomi Board of Education office with Akiko-san.
At first I thought that working in an office where no one spoke English was going to be rather difficult, but I've discovered it's to my advantage. Being forced to learn the language is both challenging and a great way to build relationships.

Akiko-san, the young lady who sits across from me at the Board of Education, is trying hard to use English - everyone is - while I struggle with my Japanese.


She's advancing at a much faster pace than me.


Everyone is.


Nevertheless, I try not to get too discouraged and have to be content to learn a few new phrases each day. As it happens, going through my own struggles has made me better understand how I might be able to help my students learn English.


I've also been feeling rather lusty lately.


(Wow, where did that come from?)


As in most countries, the male populous of Japan has its share of toothless, pot-bellied, pock-ridden slobs who feel that if they're going to take a chance on a woman it might as well be me, but man... some of the men here are so dang handsome.


Case in point, I met this incredibly good-looking elementary school teacher at a community volleyball game on Saturday who set my heart - as well as my lower regions - afire.


His name is Tanaka. He's single, about my height (there is a God), and has a face that would surely launch a thousand sighs from you American women.


We met at a post-volleyball party as Yamamoto-sensei introduced me to each and every individual there. I was shaking hands, bowing, kissing babies and was nearly elected into office, before we got to this delectable, young teacher. The group he was with invited me to sit on the tatami next to him and although I preferred the idea of sitting on top of him, protocol forbid it.

Akiko-san snapped pictures while the hunky teacher and I chatted - or at least tried. He doesn't speak much English. (Ask me if I cared.) Maybe I'll send you all a copy of the aforementioned photo after I've had the negative blown up life-size. Come to think of it, maybe I'll have it blown up a little larger than life so that he can be taller than me.

Many at the post-volleyball party departed soon after, including the man I now wished to father my children, so I spent the remainder of the evening eating and drinking and drinking and drinking with my employers, co-teachers and co-workers. Sam and another AET, Ted, arrived in Shintomi at about 6 p.m. only to find they were far behind. It wasn't long, however, before their plates were piled high and glasses filled.

And kept filled. 

                                  Yamamoto-sensei (raising his glass) at the Community Center volleyball tournament.
It's a Japanese custom never to let a companion's glass get less than half full and they take this responsibility very seriously.

Following the post-volleyball party was, of course, a visit to a local Karaoke Bar. There is NEVER only one event to attend when you go out in Shintomi and, I assume, Japan. In fact, you're often expected to go to at least two more places before calling it a night. Even then, the men are often on their way to a fourth and fifth place.

While at the karaoke bar, my bosses and co-workers had their first chance to hear Sam sing. 

God love her.

The sweet, utterly tone deaf diva. 

At one point, a newcomer to the party (oblivious to Sam's previous, ear-splitting performances that evening) moved to hand Sam the microphone. To my great astonishment, I watched several of my companions - who, as Japanese, seem culturally and morally obligated to urge EVERYONE to sing - jump from their seats to grab the microphone before the lovely, but terribly tortured songbird had the chance, offering excuses on her behalf.

Don't feel too bad.

Sam continues to perform, unabashedly and unapologetically, every chance she gets.

After a while, Sam, Ted and I splintered off to a different Shintomi establishment where we encountered a wedding party celebrating, and where, by the end of the evening, I attempted to teach a young man in the party a truly conservative version of the Lambada.


I think I made a new best friend.

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